I don’t post birthday messages here every year, but it’s been a while since I wished one of my favorite people a happy birthday with a post about why I think he’s so special. So happy 44th birthday, Jared Padalecki!
I first met Jared in 2007. Not at a convention or any public appearance. Instead, it was in the lobby of Casa Manana, the theater where Jensen Ackles was starring in a local production of A Few Good Men. Kathy and I had impulsively flown across the country to see Dean Winchester’s portrayer (and maybe meet him, if we were lucky). At intermission, we spotted a very (very) tall man in the lobby, trying to be incognito by wearing a beanie. Instead of meeting Dean Winchester, we met Sam Winchester! Kathy hid in the corner while I gathered the nerve to casually say hello to a young Jared Padalecki. I kept my voice down since no one had recognized him, but he was anything but reluctant to chat. I remember saying that it was such a nice thing for him to do, to fly to Texas to see Jensen in a play. He shrugged with a grin and said, “of course I would, he’s my bud!” We went on our way so as not to draw any attention. A little while later Jared ran into Jensen’s dad in the candy line and exclaimed “Papa Ackles!” with an exuberant hug so apparently we were more concerned than he was.
That was my first introduction to Jared’s warm and open personality. Looking back, it was an example of so many things that are special about him – his genuineness, his warmth and openness, and what’s important to him, especially being there for the people he cares about. I saw how much it meant to Jensen that he was there that night, and I’ve seen countless times since how Jared will make an effort to support others. He’s got that empathy and sensitivity that can take a toll on you emotionally and wear you out sometimes, but it can also make you a caring person.
I had only spent a little bit of time with Jared outside of watching rapt at convention panels or grinning through early convention photo ops (see evidence below) when I decided to put together a book of all the amazing stories I had heard about how Supernatural had changed fans’ lives.
I’d been to the Supernatural set and seen firsthand what a supportive, creative and fun atmosphere Jared and Jensen had created there, allowing the cast and crew to be the most well oiled machine I’ve ever seen. The more conversations I had with Jared, the more I realized how deeply he thought about things – including this unprecedented experience he had been catapulted into as a very young man.
I also realized that his positivity about fans was in part because he identified as a fan too – it had shaped his life the way it has shaped many of ours. I got to know him a bit more through his support of the suicide prevention charity Attitudes in Reverse, which is dear to my heart too. Jared was right there on the ground, giving inspirational talks and donating his shoes to the “in their shoes” campaign to help raise awareness of the risk of suicide and the importance of talking about it.
When the fandom pulled together to show him how much his Always Keep Fighting campaign meant to so many of us, with thousands of us holding up AKF candles in Hall H at Comic Con, I could see how much that meant to him and just how deeply he understood the need for that mantra.
From personal experience.
I got to experience even more just how much Jared cares, and just how much courage he has, from putting together the book Family Don’t End With Blood. Over the years, Jared read all the books I wrote on Supernatural and fandom, asked me questions and gave me thoughtful feedback. So maybe it shouldn’t have been surprising that one day he asked me what I was working on. When I described the book that became Family Don’t End With Blood as stories of how Supernatural had changed and even saved lives, he said ‘hey, I have a story like that too.’ How many actors would just volunteer to share their very personal story, being vulnerable and honest about something that’s not always easy to talk about, in the hopes that it would help others who might be facing something similar? In a book, no less! Not many – though it turns out the Supernatural cast is one of a kind and twenty other Supernatural actors, including Jensen Ackles and Misha Collins, wanted to share their stories in the books too.
Jared’s story was deeply personal and incredibly vulnerable. Not only did he share his own fandom history as contributing to his appreciation and love for his own fans, but he wrote a moment-by-moment account of his most vulnerable time, when he struggled to keep going. How painful and scary that was. How he got through it with the help of supportive family and friends, and eventually with professional help that he’s been vocal about benefiting from. How those tea light candles at Comic Con and #AKF meant everything to him. Over the years I have had the privilege of hearing hundreds and hundreds of stories from fans about the difference Jared’s chapter and his willingness to speak out has made to them. How reading his words that describe unflinchingly how he felt was so powerful to them that they felt validated and less afraid to reach out for help – and did.
I know how difficult it was for Jared to write that chapter. As the editor, I was the one who had to keep asking when it would be ready. I saw the drafts, and heard the struggle. (Jensen can attest to that too, especially the time he likes to complain about when the Ackles and Padalecki families went on vacation together and Jared kept working on his chapter instead of joining them in the pool – sorry, Jensen!) But Jared refused to give up. He worked on that chapter for over a year and a half, writing multiple revisions even when I was saying ‘it’s fine as is’. He wanted it to be real enough to make a difference. And you know what?
It is.
As a psychologist, I know how important that is. But who knew Jared Padalecki was actually a talented writer too? And who knew he cared THAT much?
(That’s Jensen being serious about Jared’s chapter, a rare photo op that wasn’t about being silly, but about the work Jared put into it and the impact it has had).
There are lots of other examples of how much he cares. In addition to writing his chapter, he’s spoken candidly about mental health, resilience and the importance of support on multiple podcasts and at many conventions. I’ve seen countless examples of how hard he works not to let any of the people he cares about down, from the hardworking crew who stayed on Supernatural for 15 years to his fellow SPN actors at the cons, to his family and friends and all of us, the fans. It strikes me frequently, how lucky we are as a fandom to have actors who are good people and genuinely care. Jared and Jensen set the tone for that a long time ago, and it’s still shaping the way most of the fandom and the conventions are today. I am so grateful for the captivating characters Jared has brought to life, from Sam Winchester to Cordell Walker to Mr. Marathon, but what makes him special is who he has managed to stay while navigating a profession that can change people not for the better.
So thank you, Jared. For sharing yourself and your story, and for continuing to care about others when that sometimes seems like a scarce commodity in this stressful world.
Wishing you a happy birthday, and hoping you can feel that caring coming right back at you – from your amazing partner and kids and family who clearly adore you, the friends that love you, and from all of us, who love you too. Keep being you.
You can read Jared’s powerful chapter in Family Don’t End With Blood, and his thoughts on someone else he cares about, Sam Winchester, in its sequel There’ll Be Peace When You Are Done — info at the website below. Both benefit Random Acts. Family also benefits Attitudes in Reverse, and Peace also benefits SPNSurvivors, in both their crucial suicide prevention efforts.
-Lynn
