Tag: Jim Beaver

The Boys Episode 3.7 Drops A lot of Bombshells (And A Music Video)

The Boys Episode 3.7 Drops A lot of Bombshells (And A Music Video)

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Only one more episode of Season 3 of The Boys to go, and I don’t think anyone is ready for this wild ride to be over! This week’s episode, ominously titled “Here Comes A Candle To Light You To Bed” brought one of the biggest revelations of the series, and delivered it in a way that ensured it left a powerful impact. I know some people guessed what was coming, but I wasn’t one of those people, so it left me gobsmacked and repeating WTF more than once. Luckily I love it when this show can surprise me, so this is far from a complaint.

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD, SO BE SURE YOU’VE WATCHED THE EPISODE FIRST!

It’s been amusing, as a long time Supernatural fan, to watch the rest of the world discover Jensen Ackles’ acting brilliance as they watch this season of The Boys. He gave a tour de force in this episode, once again making me feel a ridiculous range of emotions that shouldn’t be possible for one character – especially one like Soldier Boy. And yet…

Look, even the official accounts can’t help but get a little heart eyed over this character (and the guy who so vividly portrays him).

More than anything, this episode was about agency and choice, as many of the characters confront their own fears and make decisions about their trajectories in life that acknowledge those fears but refuse to be constrained by them.  Homelander and Vought (as now personified by Ashley) continue to hold power by wielding that fear, Ashley utilizing their voicepiece Cameron Coleman to cast doubt on Annie’s accusations. Surely no one can take her seriously when she’s clearly just a woman scorned, and oh by the way, doesn’t she have ties to known terrorists and human traffickers? No wonder she started a home for runaway girls!  Imagine a world where the real bad guys take the moral high ground to silence a voice for change and people just believe it…oh wait.

Maeve is one of the characters who has faced the worst case scenario and decided she’s willing to lose it all to go up against Vought and Homelander. He visits her to see if he can find out where Butcher and Soldier Boy are, trying to scare her by saying that Soldier Boy has already killed seven supes and fried the power out of others – reminding her that could happen to any of them. His fear mongering doesn’t work on her anymore though.

Maeve: That’s the difference between you and me. You need to be a supe; I can’t wait til it’s over.

In one of the many parallels in this episode, Homelander recalls almost fondly that at one time he wanted to have kids with Maeve, just as Soldier Boy recalled the same about Crimson Countess previously. In an eerily prescient theme for what’s going on in the real world right now, Homelander assures her that he’d never force himself on her – but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t harvest her eggs against her will to make himself some kids. It’s a shocking attempt to control her body and her reproductive decisions and how the hell are Kripke and this show always so good at predicting the dystopian future?

Maeve refuses to give him the upper hand though, saying that the day is still a top three for her, because she saw him scared. Touche.

Later, Homelander speaks at a rally and attacks Starlight once again when he’s supposed to be rallying in support of candidate Robert Singer (Supernatural’s own Jim Beaver). Homelander is losing it a bit though, hallucinating Soldier Boy in the crowd, his eyes glowing for a second before he gets himself under control. Walking it off, he ends up in a nearby barn where a cow is plaintively mooing. As ‘Crimson and Clover’ starts to play, the scene goes surreal, Homelander milking the cow and looking positively orgasmic while doing it and then drinking the milk right out of the bucket.

Only on The Boys, seriously.

Neuman catches him at it and tells him to pull himself together, offering him some information and a working alliance. That should go well.

A Train wakes up in the hospital with a new heart and an Ashley-written fake news story about how he got it that involves Soldier Boy killing Blue Hawk just as he and A Train were getting along again. Nice cover story, tying up all the loose ends. A Train is ambivalent about going along with all this, but you get the feeling he’s going to cave, drawn back in by the fame and fortune – and Ashley knows it.

Black Noir, on the run and hiding from Soldier Boy, also faces his fears – with the help of Buster Beaver and his cast of cartoon characters. Nathan Mitchell somehow manages to convey all kinds of emotions without saying a word, and it’s a brilliant use of cartoons to depict Noir’s backstory (as this show has done before).  Much like Homelander’s heart to heart with his own mirror image, Black Noir’s dream sequence in his head gives voice to his own self doubt and trauma without him having to utter a thing.

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Non-Spoilery Preview (and Soldier Boy musings) of The Boys Episode 7 – Releasing Friday!

Non-Spoilery Preview (and Soldier Boy musings) of The Boys Episode 7 – Releasing Friday!

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The penultimate episode of ‘The Boys’ Season 3, ominously titled ‘Here Comes A Candle To Light You To Bed,’ releases this Friday on Prime Video, and the little teasers already have everyone bouncing in anticipation (per usual). This is my non-spoilery teaser review of my own reaction to episode 3.7 – and as a Supernatural fan, this one is especially for everyone who was already a Jensen Ackles admirer or has joined the party recently and jumped on board in appreciation of Soldier Boy.

The last few episodes of Season 3 are going to be a rollercoaster for Ackles fans the likes of which we have never ridden. My advice is you’d better hold on tight, because this one is like that rollercoaster in the dark at Disney World where it’s extra scary because you never know when there’s gonna be a sudden twist or how violent the turn is gonna be. That also makes it extra exhilarating – for a long time that was my favorite ride there. But when I say my heart was pounding out of my chest and I had to jump up and sort of run around my kitchen a few times to calm down, to the accompaniment of colorful exclamations, I am not exaggerating.

Ackles himself weighed in on Instagram about his character’s wee bit of anger issues….

Ya’ think??

From the perspective of someone who has been a Supernatural fan for 17 years, there are all kinds of things that fandom has imagined a character Ackles plays doing – things that a show on the CW could not include, even if it might have made more sense for hardened traumatized hunter Dean Winchester than his PG vocabulary ever did. Most of those things have played out in fanfiction over the years, for sure, but somehow seeing and hearing a character onscreen who is not limited to the CW standards and practices was more shocking than I expected. No, I am very much not complaining.

Seeing Jensen be able to sink his teeth into a role like this, into a character who is raw and fucked up and in many ways the worst of a swatch of humanity in real life – it was awesome. For someone who’s a long-time fan, it was also a mind fuck, in that I could not help but love the character just a little even when I hated him.

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There’s a reason the fandom calls him Danger Grampa or Sweet Baby Murder Kitten, after all.

We learn about some of the horrible things he’s done in this episode, right alongside more of the things that have been done to him – and right alongside the moments when he lets his guard down a little and says something real and shows some genuine emotion. That is one of the things this show has excelled at from the beginning and why I’ve loved it since Season 1 – it’s always shades of gray, even the worst characters having moments of humanity when I feel for them. But having one of my favorite actors embody that kind of complexity made it so much more difficult for me to negotiate. I kept wanting to sympathize with him – especially when the traumas of his past are laid out – but each time there’s a punch to the gut that reminds me that I can’t get too pulled in. Talk about a mindfuck!

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Supernatural New Jersey 2022!

Supernatural New Jersey 2022!

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I definitely could not have anticipated how eventful the NJ Supernatural convention a few weeks ago would be! It’s my “home con”, which means I can drive to it. I hate driving by myself so I was happy to be able to drive with a friend, and we headed out early, full of gleeful anticipation. All went well until we got there and drove around the parking garage – and could not find a single spot. I am not a fabulous driver on my best day, and an unfamiliar garage that was nearly impossible to navigate was not helping. My friend was equally nervous, so I couldn’t convince her to take the wheel either – so we gave up and parked at the hotel entrance. She stayed with the car while I went inside and asked what I should do if there were no spots.

Lovely security guy standing nearby: Ma’am, that’s not possible.

Me: I can’t swear that I didn’t just miss them in my panic, but I did not see any.

Lovely security guy (sighing): Okay, come on.

He rode in the back seat as we drove back into the garage, and patiently navigated our way to the entire wing of the garage that was hidden in the back. Oops.

Anyway, I’m a fan of the con hotel for life thanks to that lovely security guy.

In between being in the vendor room, which still feels like a family reunion after we all missed cons for so long. I caught a little of Kim and Briana’s first panel.

They’ve talked before about how much they loved doing some of their own stunts (and would have done more if Wayward Sisters went to series), but Briana also said that she didn’t really know how to move for some stunts. She did an imitation, laughing at herself the whole time.

Kim said she was inspired by the film Wonder Woman, especially how she looked out for her little sister, which was a very Supernatural thing to say. Similarly, they talked about how important it is to “get back on the horse” when you’re had a setback.

Briana: Just make sure you have your people around you. Fandom is a great example.

Kim and Briana together are always magic. There are so many lifelong friendships that were forged from this show and this fandom. They gave us some examples by reading their most recent text conversation aloud. Complete with emojis.

Kim talked a bit about shooting the scene of vamp Dean biting her, which she didn’t mind one bit – except that Jared and Jensen were busy making all kinds of jokes, including yelling for condiments!

I personally would not have wanted the Supernatural finale to end any other way, but I know some people found it really hard to have Dean die so young. Kim had an alternate ending: Sam and Dean turn out to actually be little kids playing, with a little toy Jody and Donna… then we pan up a tree to Cas… and Lucifer… in real life. Waiting.

Dark, Kim! But adorable too.

They gave us the good news that they’re about to record more of the Wayward Podcast, which I really enjoy. Yay!

If you’d like to hear more from Kim and Briana, they wrote very powerful and frank chapters in Family Don’t End With Blood – which are also very inspiring.

Adam Fergus and David Haydn-Jones also had a panel on Friday.

Adam said that David is more like Sam and he’s more like Dean in real life, though I can’t imagine either Sam or Dean in that velour track suit even if they were in New Jersey!

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Supernatural Indy Con 2022!

Supernatural Indy Con 2022!

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This was my first convention in Indianapolis, though not my first time there since I’ve been to other conferences and business meetings in the city. It’s a quick 1.5 hour flight so I got there on Friday in time to at least catch a few panels – though I was very sad to miss Gabe Tigerman’s panel. I love Gabe and I love his chapter in There’ll Be Peace When You Are Done – I at least got to say hi later that afternoon luckily.

I did catch some of Adam Fergus and David Haydn-Jones panel, which turned out to be delightfully full of all kinds of innuendo and just blatant naughtiness. These are good things imho.

David said he was lucky to get the role of Ketch. He had his final callback for Supernatural after working until 6 am the night before filming a Hallmark movie and he was exhausted. (But apparently not too exhausted to throw on a suit and be perfect for the part!)

Adam agreed, and gave him all the props for his portrayal.

Fan: Sorry David killed off your character, I liked him.

Adam: I liked him too!!

They had some amusing stories to tell, including the one about David and the motorcycle helmet – they couldn’t find one that was big enough to fit his head, so when they put it on it looked like a little kid’s helmet – which apparently was hilarious.

They also had a few serious things to say about their roles on the show. David said that one of his favorite character moments was when Mary told Ketch “this is just a one night” thing. He wanted to show a glimmer of broken heart in Ketch. Near the end, David said that Ketch also felt guilty and wanted to redeem himself.

David: In the hospital, that was the first time he called them ‘friends’.

Adam: Mick and Ketch were brainwashed as kids, but Mick was trying to break out of that.

Both Adam and David had lots of positive things to say about working on Supernatural.

David: The best working experience I’ve ever had is Supernatural. Jared, Jensen and Misha are the best, and the crew that’s been with them since the start and stayed the whole time, that really says something.

Adam talked about the first prank the boys played on him and then about the atmosphere on Supernatural and how special it was.

Adam: It’s so much fun to do what we do, and on Supernatural they are all so nice, and the leads never phoned it in – ever.

A fan asked about shipping Ketch with…. (pause)… Rowena?

David: I thought you were gonna say Ketch and Mick.

Adam: I was hoping!

Jason Manns helped out with the music and the emcee duties on Friday, along with Adam.  It’s always nice to have his beautiful voice on stage.

Kim Rhodes and Briana Buckmaster were up next. A fan asked Kim to answer a question about working with the boys on Zach and Cody and Briana attempted to answer – hilariously.

Briana: So Zach and Cody were in the make up trailer…they liked to put on their own rouge and makeup… just like Jared and Jensen!

Kim: lol

Someone asked them their favorite words and Briana said “audacious”.

Briana: I love the word audacious. It’s used sometimes to mean that women are being too bold, but I love being told that!

Her favorite quote is by Isadora Duncan: “Darling, don’t let them tame you!”

Kim: I love the word “home”. It means different things to all of us, but we all know what it means.

Kim invariably makes me tear up at some point in the weekend. In a good way.

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The Trickster Messes With Sam and Dean for the First Time in Season 2’s ‘Tall Tales’

The Trickster Messes With Sam and Dean for the First Time in Season 2’s ‘Tall Tales’

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Tall Tales is one of those episodes that felt like FUN, despite some typical Supernatural monstrous happenings and, of course, people dying. But still, FUN. It was also a great episode to showcase Sam and Dean’s relationship as brothers. For better or worse! And, of course, it introduced us to Richard Speight, Jr. as the Trickster.

The ‘Then’ segment reminds us that Sam and Dean have pranked each other in the past, as brothers do, from Nair in the hair to Dean’s hand stuck to his beer bottle, Sam and Dean taunting each other with “That’s all you got?” and “Bring it on, Baldy!”  And lots of calling each other ‘bitch’ and ‘jerk’ which at this point (rewatching the series after it has ended), just makes me tear up because we know now exactly what those words mean when the Winchesters say them to each other.

Sigh. I miss my Show.

This episode opens with a professor walking to his office building at night, encountering an attractive young woman hanging out waiting for him, inexplicably dressed in a little sundress even though it’s cold and other people have jackets on.

She shows off her legs and he doesn’t notice, and he initially does try to get her to come back during office hours. He’s reluctant to respond to her flirty advances and hero worship until she finally says okay, I should go, and turns to leave. Then he changes his tune, saying he understands what she’s feeling. He shows his true narcissist colors by saying it’s natural, since he’s “somewhat of a celeb around here”. I had to cringe on behalf of professors everywhere when he said that. Nice touch of what his latest book is about though.

He kisses her even as he says it would be wrong for him to take advantage of her, and then… her face starts to disintegrate. Because this is Supernatural. He recoils in horror.

Zombie woman: What, you don’t like me anymore?

Outside the building, a janitor played by Richard Speight, Jr. watches as the professor’s body falls from the window high above, head splattered on the stones in a pool of blood.

Of course at the time that was not newsworthy (the janitor, that is). But now, on rewatch, we all squealed because Richard has joined Supernatural! He will become an integral part of the SPNFamily over the next 15 going on forever years.

ONE WEEK LATER

Sam is researching, as a Joe Walsh song plays on the radio. He’s clearly annoyed at his brother, who’s munching on something on Sam’s bed.

Sam: Dude, you mind not eating those on MY bed?

Dean (as he stuffs more in his mouth and licks his fingers enthusiastically): No, I don’t mind.

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Boys. I love how Supernatural always gets it so right. They are such brothers.

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Powerful Performances in Born Under A Bad Sign – Supernatural Rewatch

Powerful Performances in Born Under A Bad Sign – Supernatural Rewatch

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Born Under A Bad Sign is another one of the pivotal episodes that solidified my passion for Supernatural in such an intense way that the show would get under my skin and just stay there for – well, its over 16 years and counting now, so who knows how long? Forever?

In the “Then” we get a reminder that demons can possess humans, and of Sam and Dean’s recent agonizing conversation by the fence, Sam terrified he’s about to “go darkside” and warning his brother that if he’s not careful, “you will have to waste me someday” and Dean equally terrified he won’t be able to save Sam.

That’s where Sam and Dean are when we get to the “Now”. Dean is frantic, on the phone with Ellen after Sam has apparently gone missing.

Dean: I’m losing my mind here….I’ve called him a thousand times, there’s nothing but voicemail. I don’t know where he went or why, Sam’s just gone…

His phone shows another call and Dean cuts off to answer it.

Dean: Sammy? Where the hell are you? Are you okay? Hey hey hey, calm down, I’m on my way.

The impala roars away from under a bridge. I bet Dean broke every speed limit along the way to get to his brother.

Sam hangs up the phone and we see his bloody hand on the floor as he waits.

A while later, Dean rushes into a motel, hurrying down the hallway, still frantic. He bangs on the door and it opens, so he pushes it slowly open, calling his brother’s name. He finds Sam sitting still, blood on his shirt, head down.

Dean’s panic increases as he sees the blood and he drops to the floor, trying to push Sam’s shirt out of the way to see how badly he’s hurt. Dean is wide eyed, terrified for Sam.

Dean: You’re bleeding, ohmygod.

Sam sounds completely out of it, traumatized beyond being able to express any emotion at all. He tells Dean that he doesn’t think the blood is his, says he tried to wash it off. That he doesn’t remember anything.

I have to say that both Padalecki and Ackles played that scene incredibly well – I could feel Dean’s panic acutely, and Sam’s utter confusion and despair (making Meg a pretty great actress also!). They are both primed for these emotions already, Dean so worried about Sam’s fate and Sam convinced he could go dark side any moment.

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In Memory of Kathy Larsen, With Love

In Memory of Kathy Larsen, With Love

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This is not an article that I ever wanted to write – or that I ever, in a million years, imagined myself writing. But I want to say something about the friend that I lost this week, and remember just how special Kathy Larsen was.

I met Kathy through fandom. In fact, she was one of the first people I met through fandom, shortly after I discovered that online fandom was even a thing that exists. We were part of a small listserv, passionate about some of the same rather obscure things – a movie, a band, an actor that not many people had even heard of – and fangirled each other’s writing immediately. Kathy was a brilliant writer, whether it was fiction or nonfiction. She could make you laugh, pull you into a mystery, or absolutely gut you with a tragic ending. She could explain concepts that were difficult to grasp in a way that never felt like talking down to anyone, which I’m sure her students appreciated too.

Once we found out we lived only a few hours from each other, we started driving that two hours often, especially when we fell down the rabbit hole of loving a new thing – a relatively unknown little TV show on the WB called ‘Supernatural’.

Along with two friends, we fell in love with Supernatural together, and became fascinated by the close-knit community we found in that show’s fandom. At the same time, we questioned whether it was really okay for us to be quite so far down the rabbit hole. We were professors, professionals, partners, parents. Was it really okay for us to spend so much time and energy loving a TV show? Maybe because we were both professors and accustomed to research, or maybe because we just needed to prove to ourselves that it WAS okay, Kathy and I set out to find the answer. We would write a book, we decided, that set the record straight about fans and fandom, and especially fangirls. We’d examine it from our somewhat diverse perspectives, me as a psychologist and her as an English professor. But to do that, we reasoned, we needed to dive into Supernatural fandom head first and not look back – and that’s exactly what we did.

We flew across the country on almost no notice to see Jensen Ackles on stage in Fort Worth for A Few Good Men, leaving partners and kids a bit stunned. Especially when we decided one performance was not enough. The personality differences between me and Kathy made our fangirl adventures quite a contrast, and occasionally hilarious. We met Jared Padalecki (who had flown in to see his friend in the production) in the lobby candy line. I marched right up to say hello; Kathy opted not to budge from her spot in the corner and watched from a safe distance.

We needed some margaritas after with our friend Amy.

We flew across the country again all the way to LA for the premiere of the Ackles-laden indie film Ten Inch Hero (starring both Jensen and Danneel).  I managed to tell Danneel how much I loved the film while Kathy once again watched supportively from across the room.

But in other things, Kathy was fearless. We rented a PT Cruiser, figured out how to drive it (mostly) and drove down to San Diego to experience Comic Con and the Supernatural panel for the very first time.

Kathy drove.

Driver picked the music.

Shotgun shut her cakehole (and enthusiastically sang along to the classic rock and a little Steve Carlson).

With our friend Sabrina

Comic Con was eventful. We finally met Jensen Ackles.

I cried.

Kathy watched supportively from ten yards away and then hugged me and patted me until I calmed down.

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Supernatural Closes Out 2021 with a Holiday Con in Nashville! Part One

Supernatural Closes Out 2021 with a Holiday Con in Nashville! Part One

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There was extra excitement in the air when Creation’s Supernatural convention returned to the Gaylord Opryland Hotel in Nashville earlier this  month – not only was it the last Supernatural con of 2021, but it was a chance for friends to come together to celebrate the holidays in grand style too. The Gaylord is a ridiculous hotel (but I mean that in the kindest way), so gigantic that there’s a freaking river that flows through it and you can take a boat ride down it from one side of the hotel to the other. It is always decorated like it’s Disney World, but for the holidays, they went all out. I am always slightly disoriented when I’m there because it’s a maze of bright lights and indoor jungle pathways, and have been known to get hopelessly lost and call my friend Alana to come find me. I don’t have much of a sense of direction. I also still have an injured knee, and a hotel that’s a boat ride long is not the best place to be when you can’t walk very well, but despite that, I was looking forward to Nashcon 2021. And it didn’t disappoint!

Friends who I hadn’t seen in far too long were at this con, and there were joyful reunions throughout. One group of friends had their whole room decorated like a motel the Winchesters would frequent, free postcards with gorgeous fan art on them hanging on their room door and free for the taking. Another group of friends proclaimed this “Gown Con” and packed their fanciest dresses, then posed for photos all over the hotel – which is just made for photo ops! Other friends wore their own unique versions of Santa hats, which ranged from nice to definitely naughty. I was reunited with my partner in crime, Kim Prior, who of course had her camera and incredible photography talent with her to make the con extra special (as you can see throughout these posts!). And it wasn’t just the fans who were glad to see each other – the actors are also grateful to be reunited, this time with Matt Cohen and Gil McKinney rejoining the fun.

I got in mid day Friday, and managed to catch a little bit of the threesome of Gil, David Haydn Jones and Adam Fergus. Their panels usually go a little off the rails and I always appreciate that.  There were sweet moments too though – Gil said that he can’t really facetime with his 5 year old daughter when he’s traveling because she just loses it seeing him when he’s not there. Awww.

Gil was also happy to talk about how it feels to be the Winchesters’ grandfather.

Gil: I mean, Jared and Jensen and Jeffrey Dean, they came out of me…

Gil told some of his ‘yes I was pranked’ stories from Supernatural, including the time there were suddenly filthy pictures on a screen, designed to make him laugh during his coverage.

Adam clarified what’s true about the Supernatural set and the pranks though, after sharing a few pranks he’d experienced too.

Adam: All that and the environment on Supernatural made it more collegial, made us all feel like part of the family.

David came dressed as a cowboy – maybe a guest spot on Walker is in order?  He said he knew about Supernatural’s reputation as a great show to work on even before he was cast, because his roommate at the time was a big fan.

A fan asked how it was to play someone so different from himself in Ketch, and David said it was fun simply because he was so different.

David: I’m gonna be brave enough to come out and say I’m anti murder…

The panel did go off the rails eventually, with a fan asking them to play truth or dare and something about if Supernatural was a telenovela.

David: I’d be Sam and Dean’s stepfather….and dominate them… (something about spanking…) …you’re welcome, Ao3!

The Adam and David bromance was in fine form too.

Awwwww.

You can read all about Gil’s experience on Supernatural and how the fandom changed him in the chapter he wrote in Family Don’t End With Blood, and about David and Adam’s experience in There’ll Be Peace When You Are Done.

Kim Rhodes and Briana Buckmaster were next up, equally overflowing with affection for each other and the SPNFamily.

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Supernatural Conventions Return – DenverCon 2021!

Supernatural Conventions Return – DenverCon 2021!

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It’s over a  week later, and I finally have time to sit down and write about Supernatural Denver con, the first Creation Supernatural convention since the whole world changed completely right after the Las Vegas con in March 2020. I remember flying home from that convention, when we had all just barely heard about Covid, wondering what it all meant and how long it would be until I’d be with my SPN friends again. Little did we know that it would be THIS long!

I was only able to go to Denver for the weekend, so I missed the festivities on Friday – and some of my favorite people, including Chad Lindberg, who was only there on Friday. Some friends were kind enough to get my vendor table set up and put out some books, since this was the first convention since There’ll Be Peace When You Are Done:  Actors and Fans Celebrate the Legacy of Supernatural was published. The contributors all put together their chapters for that book just as the pandemic began, so I hadn’t been able to bring it to a con until now. I think the book was excited to finally meet the cast and fandom!

And I was finally able to give the actors who contributed to the book their copies – if you haven’t read their chapters yet, have some tissues ready if you do. Hearing how much Supernatural meant to them, and what the experience of bringing their characters to life brought them, makes me tear up every time I read the actors’ chapters.

Photos Chris Schmelke (hand model Alana King…)

That was exciting – and so was finally being able to see some of my fandom friends for the first time in 19 months! One of the best parts of conventions is being able to be immersed among people who totally get it – and whose eyes will not glaze over alarmingly if I talk about Supernatural for too long. Therapeutic for sure!

Denver con will definitely go down in history as an unusual con – which I feel like we’ve said about so many things over this past 19 months. There were Covid protocols in place, which meant I stressed myself out trying to get a Covid test that would come back before I had to get on a plane but would also be within 36 hours of me checking into the con – thank you, neighborhood CVS! I’m accustomed to masks all the time, so wearing one for the weekend was no problem at all, and I was relieved that everyone else was pretty good about keeping masks on too. Considering how unsafe I feel teaching in person now, in spite of masks, I felt a little safer at the con knowing everyone was both masked and recently tested.

So that part was good. No fan is ever going to like having a giant plexiglass panel between you and the celebrity you came there to see, but we’re in a pandemic and there’s a lot that we wish was different right now. Waving at Jensen, Jared and Misha is not the same as a bear hug, but it will have to do for now. I have to admire the creativity of some fans, who came up with no-touch photo ops that put that plexiglass panel to good (and sometimes amusing) use!

The other odd part of this con was that the schedule was switched around from what we’re all very accustomed to – there are always things that happen on Saturday (like Misha Collins’ panel) and on Sunday (like the Jared and Jensen gold panel and main panel). Because Jensen was shooting on the Rust film and had to be back on set for Sunday, he appeared on Saturday instead. That caused ridiculous amounts of fan theorizing and conspiracy theory tossing around about why the switch was happening – which was for exactly the reasons put forth, Jensen’s professional obligations – i.e., filming on Sunday. It was different to have solo panels for Jensen and Jared instead of a joint one, and fans had different opinions on that, some happy to have an hour with their fave and others missing the banter that always comes with a J2 panel. In other words, as always, your mileage may vary.

I caught some of Briana Buckmaster, Kim Rhodes and Samantha Smith’s panel on Saturday. The fan who sometimes collects words for a Mad Libs at the con asked them for some adverbs, they talked tattoos, and gave a shout out to Rachel  Miner, who we all missed.

Fan: What tattoo should I get?

At that moment, a loud whistle drowned everything out.

Kim: A train, apparently…

Sam talked about how she had decided to leave acting when Supernatural called her to come back for the finale of Season 11. She thought they meant series finale, and was surprised when the show was actually still going – and that she was returning for more than one episode. Briana talked about the rejection inherent in being an actor and having to learn to keep telling herself that she is enough. All three were happy to be reunited and I was happy to have their inspiration back on the stage.

Jensen’s solo panel was next, and he seemed to take a moment to soak up the love when he came onstage.

It really felt like forever since we’d seen them all in person, so there was ALOT of love in that ballroom!

I think all of them prefer being onstage with one of their friends, and he mentioned that he missed Jared being up there with him – especially because it was the first con back and they’d been looking forward to it.

Jensen: It’s just me – I don’t have my brother here!

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In My Time of Dying – Supernatural Rewatch Kicks Off Season 2!

In My Time of Dying – Supernatural Rewatch Kicks Off Season 2!

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It’s the summer of 2021, pandemic still hanging over the world, and our little Supernatural rewatch slowed down a bit as all of us headed out for much needed family vacations. I’m glad we got a little of that in while we could considering the arrival of the Delta variant – and once again, I need my comfort show more than ever. So, it’s back to Supernatural!

Now that September is on the horizon, we’re back to making our way through the early seasons of our favorite show little by little. We finished Season 1 in the beginning of the summer, so we picked back up with Season 2’s memorable premiere, In My Time of Dying, which features a whole lot of Dean in a white tee shirt and scrub pants, a deepening connection between the brothers, and an emotionally devastating goodbye to John Winchester.

Directed by the brilliant Kim Manners, the episode kicked off with an awesome rock montage recap of the whole first season, ending with that cliffhanger crash, and when the ‘NOW’ title card comes up, it’s CCR once again. I have never listened to Creedence Clearwater Revivial’s ‘Bad Moon Rising’ the same way ever again – it literally gives me chills now.

The stunt driver who accidentally became an actor when he ended up in the scene had to come back for Season 2. (The Impala didn’t move like they expected it to so his face was clearly visible – it was supposed to flip over but got hung up on the truck so you could see the driver through the windshield). He had to come back and film the first episode of the next season too, but he did a great job. After Sam gathers every last bit of his strength and raises the Colt to shoot, the demon smokes out of him and the traumatized guy gasps, “did I do this?”

Sam fucking Winchester, right from the start. Damn.

The demon may be gone, but the aftermath is terrifying. Sam calls out desperately for his dad, and then for his brother, his eyes catching on his unconscious bloodied brother in the back seat, as we all sat in horror and waited to find out if either of them were okay.

Sam: Dean!!

Then it’s the next day, paramedics putting an unresponsive Dean on a stretcher. Sam, distraught, yells “are they okay? Are they even alive?!”

Jared is so good in this entire scene, the only Winchester conscious so the weight of portraying all the emotion and horror is entirely on him – and he shows us every bit of it.

At the time, we didn’t know for sure what the answer to that question was, and that made every moment an edge-of-your-seat one. The media landscape at the time was vastly different than today, and Supernatural was entirely under the radar, so there were no paparazzi shots or website leaks or even any articles. I love that we eventually got so much, but in those early days, we were genuinely terrified that one of our favorite characters was going to die and be gone for good, and that added an extra layer of suspense to the story telling.

Every time Sam yells for his brother, I tear up.

When the next scene begins, Dean wakes up in the hospital, everything seeming quiet and surreal. He gets up, clad only in a white tee shirt and scrub pants with bare feet, praise the powers that be, and wanders down the hall, calling “Sam? Dad? Anybody?”

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