Happy Two Year Finale Anniversary, Supernatural!

Last year on November 19 I wrote a post about the one year anniversary of my favorite show of all time, Supernatural, coming to an end. I was relieved that the fandom had survived the year since the show’s finale, and that there was still a vibrant active fan community – the week leading up to this date was full of celebration, photos, gifs, memes all about the finale and the show. I wrote then that I was so grateful – and that I wondered if that would still be the case a year later, on the two year anniversary of the series finale.

That’s today.

I am still grateful. Grateful that I had 327 episodes of this Show I love so much, and that it got to have its finale even in the midst of a global pandemic that disrupted literally everything. Supernatural has always been about ‘always keep fighting’ and pushing through, no matter how difficult the circumstances, and they did.

Some things don’t change – I am still as in love with the show and the characters as I was two years ago. The fandom has persisted, albeit with less activity (and maybe a little bit less infighting – the one silver lining of less activity). I am so glad that I have so many fandom friends who still love the show as much as I do.

Some things do change, as much as I don’t want them to. There wasn’t the big cross-platform celebration of the show in the week leading up to the anniversary that there was last year. Twitter itself, the platform on which I mostly make my fannish home and spend time with my fellow fans, is teetering on the abyss of ending too, driven into the ground by a new owner who seems determined to ruin what made it so useful, and occasionally wonderful.

Who knows if the Supernatural fandom as it has existed for the past 17 years will ever exist that way again if the platform does disappear, with so many using Twitter as a platform for both fandom and for interacting with the actors who brought Supernatural to life. It feels like we may be at the end of an era – and doesn’t it just make sense that we’re standing on this precipice on the exact anniversary of Supernatural ending. How fitting is that? Supernatural has always been unprecedented, oddly tied to other major shifts in the broader culture. Why would that change now?

Sam and Dean went through alot during those fifteen seasons we were privileged to witness. They grew up alot, and they came a long way. We have all done the same.

The last year has also brought other changes – the most striking one, the launch of the Supernatural prequel, The Winchesters, with executive producers Jensen and Danneel Ackles and former Supernatural writer Robbie Thompson. The series has been a way to keep the SPN universe alive and explore its characters’ history, but it has also been controversial. We still don’t know the full story that The Winchesters is telling, so it remains to be seen how the prequel will impact the fandom or canon or the chances of a reboot of Supernatural itself going forward. For me, it’s a separate show with its own story arcs, very different than OG Supernatural – but I’m enjoying watching it as a separate entity.

Supernatural conventions have continued unchanged for the past year, but the Creation conventions will change next year, no longer “the Official Supernatural Conventions” but “Creation Cons” including Supernatural and “other J & J projects”. It remains to be seen what exactly that will change, but just having them not be official Supernatural conventions feels weirdly like a loss to me, a forever Supernatural fan. Not that having some guests from other projects won’t be fun – I watch Walker and The Boys and Big Sky and Walker Independence already and love them, with Gotham Knights coming up soon – but I still feel like not having “official” Supernatural conventions as we have for the past 14 years is some kind of vague loss. (I hate change, my not-exactly-neurotypical brain just balks, what can I say?)

The past year has also given the actors more chance to reflect on the show and the journeys of their characters, in interviews and at conventions. Misha has talked about how important Castiel’s last scene was to him personally. Jared and Jensen have talked about how much their last scenes meant to them, both the painfully real ‘barn scene’ that gave them the opportunity to do some of the most powerful acting I’ve ever witnessed as well as the deep satisfaction of ‘normal’ life in the bunker for a while and the joyous reunion on the bridge.

Fandom remains divided over loving or hating the finale, and everyone’s personal opinion is valid, but Jared and Jensen and Misha are all happy and very proud of their final episodes.

And that is perhaps the most important thing of all.

If you haven’t read them yet, the Supernatural actors shared their personal thoughts about how the show has changed their lives in the book ‘Family Don’t End With Blood’ and their feelings on their characters and Supernatural’s legacy in ‘There’ll Be Peace When You Are Done’. They’re both on sale at amazon right now, if you want a written remembrance of just how special this show will always be – to both the fandom and the cast. The website to order is below in the banner if you want a tangible way to remember Supernatural and its amazing actors and fans.

I may have to do a little rewatching of my favorite show of all time  this weekend too, which I will never ever get tired of. And I’m hoping Twitter is still around for me to enjoy other fans’ celebrating there and on Tumblr and everywhere else we all gather today.

I’m so grateful to still have something I love so much, even if it hurt alot to lose it – hopefully temporarily! (That’s what Jensen says in ‘There’ll Be Peace When You Are Done’ so who am I not to listen to him??)

Happy Two Year Anniversary, Supernatural Series Finale!

With love, forever,

Lynn

Carrying On – One Year Since the Supernatural Finale

It’s November 19 – a date that will always make my heart ache a little. For most people, it’s just another day, but for me it carries a significance that might seem silly to some, but has real emotional weight for me. It’s the day Supernatural ended. After 15 seasons, the show that changed my life aired its final episode, Carry On, on this date one year ago.

I sobbed my way through the second half of that episode, so violently I came close to making myself ill, and then smiled through my tears as Sam and Dean were finally reunited in Heaven and allowed to live happily ever after. As much as I was on the same page as Jensen Ackles with having a hard time just getting my head around the idea of Dean Winchester dying at all, once I did I was on board, as he was, with how the finale showed us his last moments and gave us an even deeper understanding of him than we’d had in the fifteen years before.  I’ve had several conversations with Jensen about Dean’s ending and the finale episode (and one with Eric Kripke) over the past year or so, and my appreciation for Carry On has only grown as a result. None of us wanted to say goodbye to Dean Winchester – I sometimes think they are the only two people who love him more than I do, though I know some of you might quibble with that – but that ending felt true to the show that I love and to Kripke’s vision, and ultimately to Jensen’s understanding of Dean and Jared’s understanding of Sam.

I know some people don’t feel that way. Some of my closest friends don’t feel that way. I know it’s been a tough year for people who didn’t like the finale, or even hated it, and that anger and disappointment has fueled a year of infighting in the fandom that – improbably – sometimes seems worse than the infighting that went on when the show was actually on the air! I am tremendously grateful that it worked for me. I feel fortunate, because I care so much about this show, and if it didn’t it would hurt. A lot. So I have empathy for the people for whom it didn’t work, and I hope that one of these days that sense of loss and disappointment will ease and new passions can help people heal.

For me, the show ended reiterating the themes that came to characterize it over its entire run. The Winchesters finally had free will, thanks to their own determination and intellect (and help from Cas and Jack). We got to see them living what passes for a normal life as a Winchester, long enough that there were well established routines and rituals and time for pie fests and snuggles with Miracle, while also doing what gave their lives purpose and meaning: hunting.

The fact that the inherent danger of their profession caught up to them just made their heroism more powerful, to me. Every time they went out there, saving people and hunting things, they knew they could die. They knew there could be a bullet that found them or a monster that ripped them apart or an exposed rebar that a vampire could use to impale them. Every single time. And they did it anyway. That’s what makes them big fucking heroes. The fact that it stuck this time (forgive that choice of words) makes it glaringly obvious that the stakes were back to where they were when we started this journey. No deals with demons to bring them back, no pleading with Death, no playing with time. They were mortal, as vulnerable as all of us are.

And they went out there and did their jobs anyway.

Graphic offlarjun

I could have watched 300 hours of Winchester domestic life – that episode that Robbie Thompson always wanted to write and never got to – but I’m grateful for what we got. And as much as it was agonizing to watch Dean die and to watch Sam lose his brother, the raw genuineness those last minutes allowed felt like a gift. Dean got to say what he wanted to say, right out, defensiveness stripped away. All those times he covered up his feelings or struggled with vulnerability, we got to see how far he’d come, how open he could be. I love everything that Jensen and Jared added on that day, from the ‘yeah, there he is’ to the ‘always keep fighting’ to the callbacks to the pilot when they started this journey together so many years ago, both the characters and the actors. I know how much it meant to them and how proud they are of it.

Graphic huntersspn

I was teaching a graduate course in Grief and Loss most of last year, and I used the finale episode so many times, with its realistic depiction of grief and its hopeful message of being able to carry on. I’m also grateful that the show didn’t leave me there in the barn.

It’s a beautiful scene, one of the most emotional I’ve ever experienced, but it still makes me tear up every time I watch. Supernatural could have left us there, or ended with Sam having permission from his son that it’s okay for him to go now too. Instead we got to experience Sam and Dean’s reunion, Sam and Dean and Baby on that bridge, smiling. The scene didn’t need many words and it didn’t give us many. “Hey Sammy.” “Dean.”  A call back, along with their close-to-the-pilot wardrobe. Saying each other’s names has always meant a lot more anyway.

I kept crying long after Bob Singer called that final “cut” and Jared and Jensen said goodbye to us, the fans, forever incorporating us into the story. Simply because the ending was an ending, and I don’t think I was ever going to be truly ready to say goodbye to this show. I was so worried, a year ago today, that the fandom would disappear. That everyone would find a new show to love and forget about this one, while I knew damn right well that I’d be sitting here one year later still madly in love with these characters and this show and missing them. I don’t do moving on very well when I’m this passionate about something. I worried that I’d be all alone here, marking the anniversary with a glass of wine and a rewatch and a box of tissues and wondering if I was the only one who remembered the significance of November 19.

Instead it has been a week of shared emotions and memories and beautiful tributes to Supernatural and its ending, social media timelines filled with art and meta and gifs and heartfelt posts about what the show has meant and still means to so many people. I’ve smiled over a million photos of Dean hugging Miracle and Sam kicking the washing machine. I’ve sobbed over every line of dialogue in the barn scene flowing over a screencap that has no right to be as gorgeous as it is. I’ve smiled reading fans’ imaginings of what Heaven is like for the Winchesters and what Sam and Dean are up to now. I’ve tripped down memory lane and all the best times with Sam and Dean and Cas (and Jared and Jensen and Misha) over the years. My timeline has been every bit as vibrant and alive this past week as when the show was on the air and on the covers of EW and TVGuide and everything in between.

I don’t know why I was so worried.

Supernatural has never been ordinary – it has always been extraordinary. It stayed on the air when the network didn’t support it, when viewership was tiny, when the WB went out of existence. It pulled people in from the tiny CW network, and then from Netflix, and TNT, and Hulu, and…  It kept pulling people in year after year after year, word of mouth spreading the word organically and the talents of its cast and crew keeping people hooked. For most of the past year, it has remained in the top 10 streaming content despite being off the air. And more than all of that, what’s extraordinary about Supernatural is that the show has made a difference to countless people. When I decided to put together two books about how Supernatural had changed lives with Family Don’t End With Blood and There’ll Be Peace When You Are Done, I wasn’t prepared for the powerful stories I’d receive – not only from fans but from the actors themselves. The show has changed us, and it has changed them. And that is extraordinary.

I don’t know what will happen a year from now. I don’t know if this will be the last big hurrah of a fandom that has survived a lot of ups and downs and a level of infighting that would have tanked a less determined group of people for sure. But here we are. Still loving this show and these characters. Still wanting to celebrate what it’s meant to all of us.

Tweet spnmaisiedaisy

In their chapters of There’ll Be Peace When You Are Done, Jared and Jensen both wrote about what they hope Supernatural’s – and the Winchesters’ – legacy will be. I reread both their chapters and a few others to remind me today that there is a legacy, and how proud these actors are of that and the characters they brought to life.

From Jensen’s chapter:

I think that the people who have found Supernatural and become part of the fandom and found each other through the show—the SPNFamily—are probably the legacy that we’re going to be proudest of… The show carries the message to always keep fighting for each other, and that has inspired the fandom to keep fighting too, whatever fight they are facing… We started out thinking we were making a horror show about monsters, but it became clear pretty quickly that’s not what made the show important. So many fans have told me that what is special is that it’s a show about two brothers who will do anything to fight for each other and to fight to save the world. Not in a way that people tell them to or according to what’s written in a book, but by making their own choices about what’s right and wrong and always trying to do what’s right. That’s the legacy of the show and that’s what has made a difference.

From Jared’s chapter:

I’m very proud of what we’ve done and of the story that we got to tell. Sam Winchester has inspired me, just like he’s inspired many fans… I think most of us, like Sam, probably do struggle to forgive ourselves sometimes. But I feel like Sam’s actions have been kind and sacrificial and loyal, and I have always wanted him to keep fighting—for his brother, for his family, to save people. I value that about him. The way the Winchesters have faced insurmountable odds inspires me and hopefully others to keep on working as hard as we can.

Jensen’s chapter had an important ending that will be a comfort to me every November 19th and all the days in between:

And let’s be clear. Supernatural will never end. The show might, but what it has built? This will never end. Besides, nothing ever stays dead on Supernatural.

Thanks for the reminder, Mr. Ackles.

Happy one year anniversary of wrapping up, Supernatural.

Here’s to celebrating many more.

— Lynn

You can read Jared and Jensen’s chapters

in both Family Don’t End With Blood and

There’ll Be Peace When You Are Done,

along with contributions from Misha and

many more – Links on home page or at:

 

 

 

Looking Back to One Year Ago…As Supernatural Filmed Its Final Episode

It was one year ago today that Supernatural filmed its final episode. I don’t know how that’s possible, because in some ways it seems like yesterday, and yet when I think of everything that has happened since, it seems like maybe it was even longer. Jared has filmed a whole season of Walker and is starting another. Jensen has filmed a whole season of The Boys. Misha has recorded a podcast season and published a poetry book. Some of my friends in the fandom have moved on, found other shows to love, even if they will always have a soft spot for this one. Some got pulled into this drama or that drama and walked away disillusioned or disappointed. Some, like me, are still here – I’m grateful every single day that the SPN Family still exists and I can still hop on social media and find people who want to talk about Supernatural and how much we love and miss it.

A year ago, I was already anticipating how much things would change, and of course they have. I knew that life would feel different just knowing that Jensen and Jared and Misha and the crew that felt like family too were no longer up there in Vancouver making magic for us to enjoy. I knew I’d miss Jason Fischer posting the Quote of the Day – it started out my every day for so long, a part of my daily routine that I cherished. He probably doesn’t know how good it felt, to know that everyone in my little corner of the world (ie, the Supernatural fandom) was starting out their day with that white board too.

It was something they shared with us simply because they wanted to – and it helped us as fans feel a part of everything they did. We knew when the day started, when the day was slated to end, what scenes they were filming. I miss that feeling of connection that was pretty unique in the world of television.

A year ago, as the cast and crew headed to work for their very last day of shooting, they wanted to share that with us too. Jared and Jensen both candidly shared their emotional reactions to their last day being Sam and Dean, taking the time to post something for the fandom even as they had to do the actual filming of those final scenes on the bridge.

I don’t know that there’s ever been a show and a fandom so closely tied that the fans got to ‘know’ so many of the behind the scenes people who made Supernatural so special, not just the actors. So many of those people wanted to show us where they were and how they felt as the last day spun out. It made it a little easier to deal with my own feelings when I knew they were shared by all these talented and hard-working people.

It was rare and special that so many of the crew worked on the show for nearly its entire run – when everyone said it was a family, I think they really meant it.

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The Music of Supernatural – Composer Jay Gruska on Scoring the Emotional Series Finale and More

I have long said that the music of Supernatural has had a significant impact on the show – making it memorable and especially giving it the emotional resonance that it had for all fifteen seasons. That’s not something that every genre “horror show” can say, and I’m not sure any can say it with as much pride as Supernatural. The music added so much to the emotional impact of the series finale, so I was excited to talk to composer Jay Gruska about scoring that episode and the emotional episode ‘Despair’, as well as his fifteen years working on my favorite show.

As with many of the  people working on SPN (and another thing that made it so unique and wonderful), the same two composers worked on the show for its entire run – Christopher Lennertz (now working with Eric Kripke on ‘The Boys’) and Jay Gruska. I’ve talked to Jay several times over the course of the show – he contributed to ‘Supernatural Psychology’ for the chapter on music in the show – so I know how insightful he is about how music is used on the show. Chris and Jay tend to alternate episodes, so Jay scored all the even numbered episodes of Season 15, including the final episode, ‘Carry On’, and episode 15.18, Castiel’s goodbye episode, ‘Despair’.

The week before we spoke, I had done a Supernatural music panel at the Southwest Popular Culture Association conference with two friends and colleagues devoted to the most recognizable musical theme in the show, ‘Americana’, which Jay composed. We had invited him to do the panel with us, but he was unable to make it due to a family party. Luckily he and I were able to coordinate our schedules for a phone chat afterwards though.

Jay: That’s amazing about the panel, and kinda flattering and sweet. I’m so bummed that I missed it, I would have loved to share my experience from my end.

Lynn: I don’t think that many composers get an entire panel devoted to one single piece of music at an academic conference – but that’s how important ‘Americana’ is to Supernatural fans.

The Emotional Rollercoaster of ‘Carry On’

Lynn: I know you read my review of the series finale so you know that I loved the barn scene even though it was incredibly painful to watch, but it was such a masterful scene. I was talking to Jensen about it recently and said that he and Jared killed it, and also that the music makes it so much more emotional. That whole piece, the piano then the strings, and then the most familiar part of Americana in the middle…

Jay: Right. As you know more than anyone, I try my best to not use Americana just at the drop of a hat. I try to really respond to when a scene is asking for it. I’ve probably made a misstep or two along the way as far as some fans are concerned – I used it once with Jack, but boy, I heard from people right away like hey, he’s not family! And I was like well yes he is to me! But don’t mess with the Supernatural fandom.

Lynn:  So true. We’re passionate, that’s for sure. And some people would definitely agree with that and some wouldn’t.

Jay: But let’s start with those performances (Jensen and Jared). Because I’m gonna be crude right now and say that without performances like that, which don’t come along often, if there’s a scene where someone is not pulling it off? You’re basically polishing a turd with the music.

Lynn: lol

Jay: My job and particularly that scene, which I count as in the top two or three if not the most emotional, well acted, just hearts-on-their-sleeves as actors and as humans moments in the whole run of the show…

Lynn: I agree!

It’s okay, Dean, you can go now.

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Two Years Ago – Remembering the Day We Found Out Supernatural Was Ending

This is an odd anniversary to commemorate, but it’s an important one. It sounds melodramatic, but two years ago today my life changed significantly when I got the news that Supernatural was ending. If you haven’t ever been a passionate fan of a show or a film or a book series or a band, you may not understand. If you have, you probably do.

Two years ago today, Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki and Misha Collins told the SPN Family that Supernatural was coming to an end after fifteen seasons, with tears in their eyes and real emotion in their voices. I still have trouble watching that little video message, but I’m forever grateful that they cared enough to tell us themselves.

So on this March 22, two years later, I thought I’d share what I wrote in the Introduction to the book we put together to remember how special Supernatural will always be, with chapters from the actors and the fans about what Supernatural has meant to them, There’ll Be Peace When You Are Done.

I’m just as emotional looking back on that day now as I was when I wrote this…

There are certain experiences that happen in our lives that we will never forget. Psychology even has a term for the memory created by this kind of experience: a flashbulb memory. When something happens that shakes our world especially profoundly, the brain encodes that moment differently, and more vividly, than it does our everyday memories.

Back in the day, a flashbulb was a cube that sat on top of your camera and went off to illuminate a scene you were capturing with a photo, freezing it in time forever (it’s now just a light on your smartphone). Our brain, when it records a flashbulb memory, does something similar: it freezes the important, sometimes upsetting moment in time forever. The sights, the sounds, the smells, and the emotions of that moment are all preserved deeply. The memory doesn’t fade like other memories, or lose its emotional intensity. Instead, it remains as clear and vivid as if it happened yesterday. We remember the clothes we were wearing, or exactly what we were doing or thinking, or who we were talking to. We remember our initial shock and then the moment when our emotions kicked in.

Most often, flashbulb memories are about world-changing events like September 11 or shocking personal news. But they can also be things you wouldn’t expect. Sometimes, something is so important to you that the news of its impending loss hits hard enough to freeze the moment in time. I think that’s what happened to me on Friday afternoon, March 22, 2019, the moment I found out that Supernatural would end after its fifteenth season. That might seem like an odd thing to be preserved forever as a flashbulb memory, and it’s certainly not equivalent to world-changing events, but that’s not how our brains work. When something is important, it’s important. And for many people, myself included, this little television show that lasted for fifteen seasons is personally and emotionally important.

When I first heard the show was ending, I was volunteering at the Project Fancare table at Lexington Comic-Con, surrounded by copies of Family Don’t End with Blood and fellow fans. Project Fancare is a nonprofit that gives fans a forum to talk openly about how television and film and books and all sorts of fandoms have helped them get through tough times, and why that’s a good thing. I had just finished talking to a woman who stopped by to tell me what Family Don’t End with Blood and Supernatural have meant to her.

As the woman walked away, my friend Kim leaned over and said softly in my ear, “You need to take a break. Take your phone and go to the bathroom and watch the video that Jensen just posted.”

That’s all she said, but instantly I knew. I knew from the genuine emotion in her voice, and the concern for me that I could hear there. I knew because there’s a part of me that had been waiting for that news and anticipating it and knew it was coming sooner rather than later. My stomach instantly fell and my brain kicked into survival mode, blocking all my emotions and making me feel oddly calm even though intellectually I knew I wasn’t. I can vividly see the table in front of me, the books spread out there, and the woman walking away. She was wearing one of the first Represent “Always Keep Fighting” T-shirts and she had bright red hair and a bag with the protection symbol on it. I can see it like it’s a photo frozen in time—as brightly as if lit by a flashbulb—and I can hear Kim’s voice and her words like she just finished talking, even though it’s now many months later.

I stood in the alcove by the bathroom in the giant convention center and pulled out my phone and found the video—and as soon as I saw their faces, before they even started speaking, there was no doubt in my mind. Jared, Jensen, and Misha are extraordinary in how open they have been with their fans, and I could see all the emotion they were struggling to contain before I ever hit play to listen to the message. I am forever grateful that I got to hear it from them.

The video that still makes me tear up:

Jared, Jensen and Misha Announce The Series Ending

Things are different in the Supernatural fandom than they were two years ago. I’ve been dismayed at the animosity and bullying toward other fans that sometimes seem worse now than when the show was actually airing, something I have to admit I didn’t expect. But I’ve also been encouraged by the kindness and support that most fans continue to show for each other. And I love that the Supernatural cast have made it clear that their love for the show and for their characters and for the fandom is not going anywhere.

While a global pandemic has made it impossible for most of us to see our fellow fans or the actors, with conventions and concerts all on hold, I’m grateful for all the zoom panels and Instagram lives and interviews and every other piece of content we’ve gotten from the cast that I miss so much. It eases the loss and makes me feel like we’re all in this together. I’m grateful for all the myriad fanworks that this incredibly creative fandom puts out there to share, from the prettiest gifs to the most heartbreaking youtube videos to fanart and fanfic that can make me cry or smile all day. I’m grateful for every playful bit of fun I run across and every supportive bit of conversation. It reminds me what fandom – especially this fandom – is all about.

I’m grateful for everything and everyone that keeps the SPNFamily alive. And I’m still hopeful that we haven’t seen the last of Supernatural.

Fingers crossed.

#SPNFamilyForever

— Lynn

You can remember Supernatural forever with

There’ll Be Peace When You Are Done and

Family Don’t End With Blood. Info and links

on the home page or at peacewhenyouaredone.com