Happy Holidays SPNFamily!

A Message to our SPNFamily

In this holiday season, we wanted to take a moment to wish you peace.

It’s the thing we hoped for when we wrote Family Don’t End With Blood – that everyone who reads the book will realize that you truly are not alone, and find the peace that comes with that validation. We’ve all experienced that uncomfortable feeling of being the only one – the only one who’s ever felt a certain way, or struggled with a certain thing, or been unable to do something that the rest of the world seems to do effortlessly. Sometimes the best way to get past that feeling of aloneness is to realize that you’re not the only one – that someone else feels that way too. We need to know that others have stood in our shoes and faced similar difficulties in order to feel validated. When that someone is an actor on your favorite show who you admire, it’s even more powerful. That’s why the Supernatural cast wrote a book that’s so personal and so candid.  The actors opened up when they wrote this book and shared very personal things about themselves, including their most difficult challenges and struggles, because that is the only way for people who read it to know they are not alone. When the “others” who have faced a similar challenge are Jared and Jensen and Misha, or Kim and Briana and Ruth and Rachel, or Matt, Mark, Rob, Gil, Jim or Osric – then that validation is powerful in a different way than what we usually get.

Sometimes we think that the actors we see onscreen are spared from the sorts of things the rest of us struggle with – anxiety, depression, self doubt. But it turns out that we all, both actors and fans, have faced hopelessness, sadness and that persistent fear of not being good enough. We all need to find acceptance and feel like we belong and we all have felt like we didn’t. The cast and the fans who shared their stories in this book have all been there. They shared those stories with great courage – so we hope that when you read FDEWB, you can feel it.

All of us, both actors and fans, wanted the book to reach people and inspire them. We also wanted FDEWB to support some of the charitable organizations that are out there doing good in the world every day, so a portion of every sale of FDEWB goes to Random Acts (spreading kindness and helping those in need worldwide) and Attitudes in Reverse (fighting to end the stigma around talking about depression and suicide so more people can get help). In addition to those donations, we have also been able to donate to some causes very important to the SPNFamily and cast during the past year by auctioning and donating signed copies of FDEWB, with over $5,000 donated to Team Levi, Random Acts, the National Suicide Hotline and the Bad Idea Tour thanks to the generosity of this amazing fandom.

If anyone needs a reminder of what this SPNFamily is all about – to give you the inspiration to keep going through tough times, or a reminder of how much these actors care about the fandom and each other – I thought I’d share a few of the things that Jared, Jensen and Misha wrote in Family Don’t End With Blood, for those who haven’t read their chapters. (And yes, this is why we have the Best. Cast. Ever. And the best fandom too!)

In his chapter, Jared opens up and tells the intensely personal story of his struggle with anxiety and depression – and how the Supernatural fandom taught him what he needed to know to keep fighting:

The fandom has taught me to Always Keep Fighting. More often than not, the fight sucks. But I guess that’s why it’s a fight. The fandom has helped me realize that there will be a brighter day on the horizon. It may be further off than you’d hope, but it’s there, and if you believe that and commit to fighting through hardships, you will find that peace.

As Misha says in his chapter:

Not everyone has a supportive family around them to help get you through the hard times. But luckily, in this SPNFamily, you may have landed in a supportive and loving community – a community that has your back.

That’s also why FDEWB benefits Random Acts and Attitudes in Reverse – because we are a community, and we do have each other’s backs.

Jensen puts it this way in his chapter:

You see, we’re not strangers anymore. You’re not strange to me. Of course we’re all a LITTLE strange – and we take the little bit of strange in each of us and mix those little bits all up together, all of us, and that’s why we love the relationship we have. You’re family.

Now that we’ve seen the Ackles family’s eccentric and utterly awesome house, what Jensen wrote about the little bit of strange in each of us seems even more heartwarming!

We hope that every time you read Family Don’t End With Blood, you remember just how much difference this little television show and its unique family have made in so many lives, both cast and fans. And we hope it brings you some peace and joy.

Happy holidays from all of us at Fangasm, and we look forward to seeing and hearing from all of you in 2019!

FDEWB23

Lynn

If you’d like to read Family Don’t End With

Blood, and benefit Random Acts and AIR, it’s on

sale on Amazon at the links on our home page!

Vote For A Hero! The 2018 Change Maker Awards and the Supernatural Connection

When we decided to write Family Don’t End With Blood, one of the main reasons was to break the silence around mental health challenges. If nobody talks about their challenges, we all tend to think we’re the only ones suffering, and thus we keep silent. That means we don’t reach out for help when we need it – and that is a dangerous thing. As a psychologist, I know the tremendous value of hearing other people’s stories, so that our own can be validated. So that WE can be validated, and thus feel worthy of the help we so deserve. Many of the chapters in the book are written by people who have dealt with a significant challenge – and have come out on the other side. Some of those are Supernatural fans, and some of those are Supernatural actors.

Jared Padalecki was the first Supernatural actor who told me that he had something to say and a reason to say it in Family Don’t End With Blood. He wanted to tell his own story of coming up against significant challenges of anxiety and depression, so that others would be emboldened to tell theirs to someone who could help – so that others who were struggling would truly know “you are not alone”. Jared had partnered with two important organizations to help get that message out there, To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA) and Attitudes in Reverse (AIR). Both organizations do amazing and important work in fighting stigma, educating people about mental health, and providing a route for people who are struggling to find the help they need.

Because everyone who wrote a chapter for Family Don’t End With Blood was passionate about making a difference, we decided to donate a portion of the proceeds to two of the charitable organizations the cast supports – Misha Collins’ Random Acts and one of Jared’s partners, Attitudes in Reverse.

AIR was started by Tricia and Kurt Baker after they lost their son Kenny to suicide. AIR volunteers, along with Trish and Kurt and their therapy dog Miki, speak at schools and universities about suicide prevention and mental health, and have put together a powerful exhibition called “In Their Shoes.” Each pair of shoes in the exhibit is from someone with an important message, written in their own words on their shoes, and helping to increase understanding and empathy for those who are struggling. You can literally “put yourself in their shoes” and understand the need for help and breaking the silence.

I’ve donated a pair of shoes, and so have many of the Supernatural cast. Gil McKinney, Samantha Smith, Mark Pellegrino, Carrie Genzel, Rob Benedict and Louden Swain, Jason Manns, Lauren Tom, Chris Schmelke and many others have written their messages on a pair of their shoes.

Samantha Smith donates a pair of shoes
Gil McKinney
Carrie Genzel

Jensen Ackles donated a worn pair of sneakers, with the message “My brother, I’ve got your back….Always.” When Jared was struggling, Jensen was there for him, and his message reflects his unwavering empathy, understanding and support.

Jared Padalecki donated a pair of boots which have travelled all over the country to help raise awareness. His message: When life breaks you down, never give up. Always Keep Fighting.

Jared and Jensen’s donated shoes and heartfelt messages
Miki feeling safe and comforted between Jared and Jensen’s shoes 🙂

In the chapter he wrote for Family Don’t End With Blood, Jared opens up about his own anxiety and depression, and how sometimes it has been difficult for him to keep going. He writes with extraordinary candor and vulnerability, taking the reader along with him on a lifetime journey of self discovery starting with his own childhood and continuing through Supernatural and the present. Jared shares his story so that others can feel like it’s okay to share theirs – and to accept help, just like he did.

I’ve had an ongoing struggle with anxiety and depression most of my adult life… it did win a few battles along the way (though I am proud to say, I am winning the WAR!). One of those battles was in season 3, during the filming of “A Very Supernatural Christmas.” It was a day like any other: I woke up, worked out, memorized my lines, and headed to the set. But something I couldn’t identify (or, maybe, that I was choosing to ignore) was eating at me. Beating me down. Convincing me that it was going to win, and that I didn’t have a chance to stop it. I made it through my daily hair and makeup and was taken to set for a rehearsal and blocking of our day’s first scene. I got in the car and rode to set, and then I was sent back to my trailer to finish changing into wardrobe and to wait while the crew set up the lighting. I walked into my trailer, sat down on the couch, and I couldn’t get up. I could no longer, on my own, muster the will to carry on. I heard the knocks on my door and I knew my crew was ready for me on set, but I couldn’t make it out of my trailer. After a bit of time, Jensen came into my trailer to see what was going on, and he knew I was not okay. He had the assistant director call for a doctor, and he sat with me to talk. The doctor showed up a bit later and sat with me in my trailer to ask me a few questions. After some time, the doctor told me that his professional opinion was that I was clinically depressed, and I should take some time off from filming.

That’s when it hit me.

I couldn’t stop filming.

I couldn’t put my crew out of work for a day, a week, a month.

I also couldn’t face, or admit, what was going on in my head.

I met the doctor in the middle. I went home, and we pushed that day’s scenes to another time. After a long sleep and a long jog and a long bath, I was ready to show back up for work the next day. Supernatural has continued for many years after that. And then, seven years later, we went back to film at the very same house we were using the day I sat in my trailer and couldn’t make it to set. That day was the day I also launched the first Always Keep Fighting campaign. In over 200 episodes, over 1,600 filming days, and hundreds of locations, what are the odds?

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