The title of this episode is relevant right away in a misleading beginning as someone sneaks around in the Walker house while Bonham and Abeline are sleeping, which is super creepy. Bonham wakes up and gets out his gun and nearly shoots his son surprising his parents with their morning coffees – which seems like a reason for not having guns around (though Bonham does keep it in a locked gun box).
Bonham is not amused.
Bonham: I woke up to a 6’ 4” grinning busybody…
Abeline: His heart’s in the right place…
Have I mentioned I love the Walkers?
Of course they have no idea why Cordell is acting so nervous or waking them up with coffee and insisting they come to the SideStep for breakfast because their fridge is mysteriously broken – but we know. Dan is watching, which is creepy as hell because he’s watching Bonham and Abeline’s bedroom for godsakes and why is no one commenting on just how creepy that is?? Just like it was super creepy that they were watching Stella in her bedroom in her robe last week.
Dan has overheard Cordell’s tearful insistence that the fateful fire was his fault but not much else, and he’s already suspicious of the other bad guy Earl – who has figured out that Dan and Denise are going to marriage counseling.
Cordell isn’t the only one who’s jumpy – Micki is still dealing with PTSD symptoms from Garrison’s fall, rubbing the marks still on her arms from where he tried and failed to hang on. Trey’s gentle touch makes her startle and she’s subtly pulling away from him too, kissing him on the cheek after deflecting from his kiss, again a pretty realistic portrayal of her psychological issues (something I’ve been appreciating about this show from the start).
He knows something’s wrong and that there’s something she’s not telling him, glancing at the painting of the church as she leaves, but he’s also trying to give her space and time to open up to him on her own.
Breakfast at the Side Step looks delicious and makes me hungry, even Liam chowing down on bacon though he brought his green juice with him, and is he taking a page from the Sam Winchester little brother healthy eating book??
Bonham: Bacon isn’t a cheat, it’s a lifestyle.
Bonham has clearly taken a page from the Dean and Mary Winchester book when it comes to bacon, and I’m in full agreement with him.
Liam: So what’s the news, big brother?
Cordell: There’s a camera hidden in our home.
Stella: You let us sleep at home after you found a spy camera? The day I take my SATs?
Poor Cordell, he really cannot get a break. That struck me as an extremely realistic thing for a developmentally appropriately self centered adolescent to say though!
Liam immediately suspects the Davidsons, but Cordell pulls him aside (not nearly far enough aside that the family can’t hear him btw, which happens all the time on TV and always drives me nuts) and asks him not to add fuel to the fire. Cordell thinks it’s Serano.
Liam: You always do this, you always give Denise the benefit of the doubt, never me!
It’s November 19 – a date that will always make my heart ache a little. For most people, it’s just another day, but for me it carries a significance that might seem silly to some, but has real emotional weight for me. It’s the day Supernatural ended. After 15 seasons, the show that changed my life aired its final episode, Carry On, on this date one year ago.
I sobbed my way through the second half of that episode, so violently I came close to making myself ill, and then smiled through my tears as Sam and Dean were finally reunited in Heaven and allowed to live happily ever after. As much as I was on the same page as Jensen Ackles with having a hard time just getting my head around the idea of Dean Winchester dying at all, once I did I was on board, as he was, with how the finale showed us his last moments and gave us an even deeper understanding of him than we’d had in the fifteen years before. I’ve had several conversations with Jensen about Dean’s ending and the finale episode (and one with Eric Kripke) over the past year or so, and my appreciation for Carry On has only grown as a result. None of us wanted to say goodbye to Dean Winchester – I sometimes think they are the only two people who love him more than I do, though I know some of you might quibble with that – but that ending felt true to the show that I love and to Kripke’s vision, and ultimately to Jensen’s understanding of Dean and Jared’s understanding of Sam.
I know some people don’t feel that way. Some of my closest friends don’t feel that way. I know it’s been a tough year for people who didn’t like the finale, or even hated it, and that anger and disappointment has fueled a year of infighting in the fandom that – improbably – sometimes seems worse than the infighting that went on when the show was actually on the air! I am tremendously grateful that it worked for me. I feel fortunate, because I care so much about this show, and if it didn’t it would hurt. A lot. So I have empathy for the people for whom it didn’t work, and I hope that one of these days that sense of loss and disappointment will ease and new passions can help people heal.
For me, the show ended reiterating the themes that came to characterize it over its entire run. The Winchesters finally had free will, thanks to their own determination and intellect (and help from Cas and Jack). We got to see them living what passes for a normal life as a Winchester, long enough that there were well established routines and rituals and time for pie fests and snuggles with Miracle, while also doing what gave their lives purpose and meaning: hunting.
The fact that the inherent danger of their profession caught up to them just made their heroism more powerful, to me. Every time they went out there, saving people and hunting things, they knew they could die. They knew there could be a bullet that found them or a monster that ripped them apart or an exposed rebar that a vampire could use to impale them. Every single time. And they did it anyway. That’s what makes them big fucking heroes. The fact that it stuck this time (forgive that choice of words) makes it glaringly obvious that the stakes were back to where they were when we started this journey. No deals with demons to bring them back, no pleading with Death, no playing with time. They were mortal, as vulnerable as all of us are.
And they went out there and did their jobs anyway.
Graphic offlarjun
I could have watched 300 hours of Winchester domestic life – that episode that Robbie Thompson always wanted to write and never got to – but I’m grateful for what we got. And as much as it was agonizing to watch Dean die and to watch Sam lose his brother, the raw genuineness those last minutes allowed felt like a gift. Dean got to say what he wanted to say, right out, defensiveness stripped away. All those times he covered up his feelings or struggled with vulnerability, we got to see how far he’d come, how open he could be. I love everything that Jensen and Jared added on that day, from the ‘yeah, there he is’ to the ‘always keep fighting’ to the callbacks to the pilot when they started this journey together so many years ago, both the characters and the actors. I know how much it meant to them and how proud they are of it.
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I was teaching a graduate course in Grief and Loss most of last year, and I used the finale episode so many times, with its realistic depiction of grief and its hopeful message of being able to carry on. I’m also grateful that the show didn’t leave me there in the barn.
It’s a beautiful scene, one of the most emotional I’ve ever experienced, but it still makes me tear up every time I watch. Supernatural could have left us there, or ended with Sam having permission from his son that it’s okay for him to go now too. Instead we got to experience Sam and Dean’s reunion, Sam and Dean and Baby on that bridge, smiling. The scene didn’t need many words and it didn’t give us many. “Hey Sammy.” “Dean.” A call back, along with their close-to-the-pilot wardrobe. Saying each other’s names has always meant a lot more anyway.
I kept crying long after Bob Singer called that final “cut” and Jared and Jensen said goodbye to us, the fans, forever incorporating us into the story. Simply because the ending was an ending, and I don’t think I was ever going to be truly ready to say goodbye to this show. I was so worried, a year ago today, that the fandom would disappear. That everyone would find a new show to love and forget about this one, while I knew damn right well that I’d be sitting here one year later still madly in love with these characters and this show and missing them. I don’t do moving on very well when I’m this passionate about something. I worried that I’d be all alone here, marking the anniversary with a glass of wine and a rewatch and a box of tissues and wondering if I was the only one who remembered the significance of November 19.
Instead it has been a week of shared emotions and memories and beautiful tributes to Supernatural and its ending, social media timelines filled with art and meta and gifs and heartfelt posts about what the show has meant and still means to so many people. I’ve smiled over a million photos of Dean hugging Miracle and Sam kicking the washing machine. I’ve sobbed over every line of dialogue in the barn scene flowing over a screencap that has no right to be as gorgeous as it is. I’ve smiled reading fans’ imaginings of what Heaven is like for the Winchesters and what Sam and Dean are up to now. I’ve tripped down memory lane and all the best times with Sam and Dean and Cas (and Jared and Jensen and Misha) over the years. My timeline has been every bit as vibrant and alive this past week as when the show was on the air and on the covers of EW and TVGuide and everything in between.
I don’t know why I was so worried.
Supernatural has never been ordinary – it has always been extraordinary. It stayed on the air when the network didn’t support it, when viewership was tiny, when the WB went out of existence. It pulled people in from the tiny CW network, and then from Netflix, and TNT, and Hulu, and… It kept pulling people in year after year after year, word of mouth spreading the word organically and the talents of its cast and crew keeping people hooked. For most of the past year, it has remained in the top 10 streaming content despite being off the air. And more than all of that, what’s extraordinary about Supernatural is that the show has made a difference to countless people. When I decided to put together two books about how Supernatural had changed lives with Family Don’t End With Blood and There’ll Be Peace When You Are Done, I wasn’t prepared for the powerful stories I’d receive – not only from fans but from the actors themselves. The show has changed us, and it has changed them. And that is extraordinary.
I don’t know what will happen a year from now. I don’t know if this will be the last big hurrah of a fandom that has survived a lot of ups and downs and a level of infighting that would have tanked a less determined group of people for sure. But here we are. Still loving this show and these characters. Still wanting to celebrate what it’s meant to all of us.
Tweet spnmaisiedaisy
In their chapters of There’ll Be Peace When You Are Done, Jared and Jensen both wrote about what they hope Supernatural’s – and the Winchesters’ – legacy will be. I reread both their chapters and a few others to remind me today that there is a legacy, and how proud these actors are of that and the characters they brought to life.
From Jensen’s chapter:
I think that the people who have found Supernatural and become part of the fandom and found each other through the show—the SPNFamily—are probably the legacy that we’re going to be proudest of… The show carries the message to always keep fighting for each other, and that has inspired the fandom to keep fighting too, whatever fight they are facing… We started out thinking we were making a horror show about monsters, but it became clear pretty quickly that’s not what made the show important. So many fans have told me that what is special is that it’s a show about two brothers who will do anything to fight for each other and to fight to save the world. Not in a way that people tell them to or according to what’s written in a book, but by making their own choices about what’s right and wrong and always trying to do what’s right. That’s the legacy of the show and that’s what has made a difference.
From Jared’s chapter:
I’m very proud of what we’ve done and of the story that we got to tell. Sam Winchester has inspired me, just like he’s inspired many fans… I think most of us, like Sam, probably do struggle to forgive ourselves sometimes. But I feel like Sam’s actions have been kind and sacrificial and loyal, and I have always wanted him to keep fighting—for his brother, for his family, to save people. I value that about him. The way the Winchesters have faced insurmountable odds inspires me and hopefully others to keep on working as hard as we can.
Jensen’s chapter had an important ending that will be a comfort to me every November 19th and all the days in between:
And let’s be clear. Supernatural will never end. The show might, but what it has built? This will never end. Besides, nothing ever stays dead on Supernatural.
Thanks for the reminder, Mr. Ackles.
Happy one year anniversary of wrapping up, Supernatural.
Last week’s Walker, the third episode of Season 2, dug deeper into the themes of grief and loss that the series has tackled since the pilot, tying those themes to those of hate and resentment that have become clearer in season 2. The episode opens with Cordell sleeping on the couch in the midst of a nightmare, tossing and turning as he sees flashes of that fateful night in the Davidson’s barn with Denise long ago. The two teenagers are sitting there together with a lantern when they suddenly have to run out, leaving the burning lantern behind. Cordell wakes up, distressed.
What’s even more distressing is we immediately jump to the perspective of the creepy Walker family’s spy, watching intimate family moments – Augie and Stella on the couch, Bonham and Abeline working on a puzzle, Stella in a bathrobe (creepier still). Geri sleeping on a couch too, Colton and Stella bandaging the wandering horse’s leg, Denise’s husband lurking around. Liam on the phone talking to someone about “tying it back to Serano”. The whole scene is shot with creepy music that makes it seem like something bad is about to happen – very well done, in other words.
It’s actually two guys listening in, and when they hear what Liam says about them being onto Serano, they immediately realize “the boss is toast”. One wants to cut and run, one wants to find another buyer for their surveillance setup since the Walker family, he notes, collects lots of enemies. (Ouch)
That ominous background runs beneath everything else going on, although the episode overtly is about a chili cookoff, Abeline using their Gran’s original recipe and a $10,000 prize up for grabs. There’s a sentimental reason Abeline wants to win, which I totally understand. (I love Abeline so much – she’s not perfect by any means, but I can often so relate to where she’s coming from). (Did you catch Jared/Cordell snacking on a pepper?)
Cordell’s on edge after the nightmares, overreacting when August leaves a towel too close to the pot of chili on the stove and it catches fire and yelling at his son.
I feel like I say this for every episode in the first couple seasons of Supernatural, but I love this episode SO much. Creepy, a mystery that you can’t easily figure out, more insight into the brothers – and their father. In this episode, you understand just how far Dean will go to save Sam, and just how deep the bond between the brothers runs. Which makes eventually learning about the impossible thing that John asked of Dean all the more heartbreaking. I love the way the first two seasons spooled it out, so slowly, teasingly. I was on the edge of my seat all the time and it was glorious.
Now, doing this rewatch in 2021, this episode also hits a little too close to home, when the words “a demonic virus” don’t sound so far fetched. That just adds to the ominous feel of the episode.
THEN
Saving people, hunting things – John telling the YED “I’ve known for a while” – a reminder of Sam’s visions, the demon having plans for kids like him. We see John whisper to Dean, Sam ask him at the funeral pyre, ‘Did he say anything to you?’ and Dean’s “no”. We know it’s a lie, but we still don’t know what those fateful words were, as we’re reminded that neither Sam nor Dean is handling the loss of their father well.
NOW
In surreal slow motion, the visuals distorted, Dean loads his gun and opens the door to a lab. A young man is tied to a chair, pleading with Dean “no, no, I swear it’s not in me, please don’t” as Dean sets his chin.
Dean: I got no choice.
He twitches, raises the gun, fires.
Sam wakes from a vision, gasping, in a motel room. Dean comes in, holding a six pack, chewing on some beef jerky.
Dean: Sam?
Night, the boys in the Impala, trying to figure out what the vision meant. Sam’s sure it happened in Oregon because he noticed a poster with a picture of Crater Lake before he saw the guy tied to the chair. Dean’s having a hard time making sense of it, but he knows by now to trust that Sam’s visions are to be taken seriously.
Dean: And I ventilated him?
They argue about what might have led to it, Sam saying that Dean thought there was something inside the guy.
Dean: Well, all our weirdo visions are always tied to the YED, so was there black smoke? Did we try to exorcise it?
Sam: No. You just plugged him, that’s it.
Dean’s defensive even about the vision.
Dean: Well I’m sure I had a good reason – I’m not gonna waste an innocent man.
Sam glances toward Dean, saying nothing.
Dean: I wouldn’t!
Sam: I never said you would!
Dean: Fine!
Sam: Fine!
It’s an argument over something that hasn’t even happened, but it gives us some insight into the tension still simmering between Sam and Dean. Dean is worried about Sam’s visions and what might be happening to him (especially in light of what John said to him, though we don’t know that yet) and Sam is worried about Dean, who’s on edge and volatile (partly because of the burden he’s carrying that John put on his shoulders). No wonder they’re sniping at each other.
They eventually give up the brotherly bickering and continue to Oregon, driving past the sign that Sam saw as they pull into a small town.
I headed to Charlotte last weekend for the second Supernatural convention that Creation has put on in 2021 post pandemic. While the one before, in Denver, was a whole lot of everyone being overjoyed to see each other and simultaneously get accustomed to a lot of new rules, this one felt a bit like “the new normal”, at least the one we’ll have for a while. We’re still in the midst of a global pandemic, so masks and Covid tests and social distancing (and the plexiglass photo ops) are here to stay for now.
It seems the altered schedule might also be here to stay – Jared and Jensen once again did some of their photo ops and both their meet and greets on Saturday instead of Sunday. When they were both working on Supernatural, it made sense that the production gave them Mondays off so they could be at conventions until late – now that both are working on different shows, no other production is going to be as accommodating. Doing some things on Saturday allowed them to finish up autographs on Sunday at a reasonable time so they could be back where they needed to be on Monday morning – in Jared’s case at least, on the Walker set! It also gave them a chance to hang out more now that they don’t get to see each other on a daily basis. I’m a creature of habit, so I pretty much loathe change, which means I miss the way Sundays at cons have been the same forever – but I’m also a realist, and the changes do make sense with the actors all working on other gigs. It made Sunday a bit less hectic at least!
Apparently at the next con, even autographs will be split between the two days, which I actually don’t like at all. If you don’t have a photo op for them to sign, you need to do autographs on Saturday now – but I’ll miss end of the con autographs as a nice way to wrap things up and say goodbye. Ah well.
Charlotte, for me, was different in other ways too. I got there late afternoon on Friday, which meant by the time I got the vendor table set up I missed pretty much everything, including some panels I really would have liked to see. There was once again no Richard Speight, Jr. to host and no Matt Cohen either, so I didn’t miss them -but I DID miss them! Rob Benedict stepped up the plate again as host and house band and generally kept things rolling like the pro that he is.
Friday night was the ‘Saturday Night Special’ concert, so at least I didn’t miss that – and it was a really good one. Louden Swain was on fire, and so were all the guest actors who joined them onstage that night.
Adam Fergus introduced everyone’s favorite photographer, Chris Schmelke, who played bass on Juliet. We missed out on an exhausted Chris at the SNS in Denver, so it was great to have him back onstage with the band!
Jake Abel joined in the fun to introduce her, Kim Rhodes sang ‘Be Me’ (no, it’s not actually called ‘Dimestore Refugee,’ who knew?) and made it clear why it was one of her favorite songs, and David Haydn-Jones channeled his inner rockstar (and George Michael) with ‘Faith’.
I was at a Supernatural convention when last week’s episode of Walker aired, glad to have the opportunity of telling Jared Padalecki in person how much I’m enjoying his new show, so I didn’t get to watch live. When I returned, I watched on the CW app and decided to just enjoy the ride instead of taking notes for this review – and I was so glad I did! The second episode of Season 2, The One That Got Away, was full of excitement and fight scenes and close calls, but it was also a poignant episode with an amazing performance by Lindsey Morgan. I’m not always a fan of episodes that switch back and forth among multiple story lines, which Walker sometimes does thanks to its large ensemble cast, but this episode was tightly focused on just two story arcs – the culmination of Micki’s undercover work and the Walker-Davidson ‘feud’. I loved being able to just sink into a story line and let it play out, almost in real time.
This episode had a significant Supernatural connection since it reunited star Jared Padalecki with his Supernatural costar and frequent director Richard Speight, Jr., whose distinctive touch gave the episode some striking scenes.
Let’s talk about the family feud arc first. Last week explored the origin of the bad feelings between the Davidsons and the Walkers, focusing on the older generations and their complicated history. This week the focus was on the younger generation, especially Stella and Colton, as they try to figure out how much of that history will color their own relationship. As I told Jared last weekend, I always like watching Walker for the deeper themes as well as the kicking ass, and this season’s focus on long-standing and difficult to disentangle tensions and resentments seems like a frighteningly relevant theme to tackle. Stella and Colton inherited the animosity between their families, which is something that happens in all facets of life every day, from families to politics to fandoms. Can they even get to know each other as individual humans with all that baggage?
With a little help from Coach Trey (who is perhaps trying to keep his mind off constant worry about Micki), they make a start on that in this episode. He engineers escape rooms for the two pairs of kids, who must start to communicate before they can find the literal key to get out of the rooms and out of detention. August apologizes for the Ruby debacle, and that facilitates the boys’ escape to a congratulatory Coach Trey.
Stella admits she wrongly accused Colton (Jalen Thomas Brooks) and he apologizes for his insensitivity, complaining about his divorcing parents when Stella has actually lost one of her parents. It was a little too convenient, sure, but I liked the message behind it – and I was rooting for them by the time Stella stopped the car to tell Colton to hop in.
Walker returned for its second season last week, and immediately hit the ground running with some intriguing new mysteries and some deeper themes that kept my psychologist brain happy too. I couldn’t watch it live so caught up on the CW app, which means I missed live tweeting with Jared Padalecki unfortunately. I am so enjoying how active he is on Twitter recently – I always end up smiling at his ability to spread joy and excitement throughout the Walker and Supernatural fandoms by just randomly replying to tweets. At the same time, I really admire his ability to ignore the haters who seem to always be lying in wait. It must be tempting to just pull back and stay quiet when you know you can count on being attacked every time you interact – he does see some of that and it has to be hurtful on some level – but being a positive force is more important and so he does it anyway. One of my first in depth conversations with him, way back in the early days of Supernatural, was about how hurtful those online comments can be – yet here he is, still persevering and being a bright light in the lives of so many fans.
Last week was an eventful one for the Walker fandom – it was premiere week, which was a joyous occasion, but it was also the week that Lindsey Morgan announced that she would be leaving the show. I don’t know anyone who didn’t love her character of Micki, and her dynamic with both Cordell and Trey, so the fandom was sad about her departure. I’m sure the cast and crew and producers were also sad about it, since a mid season unplanned departure has all sorts of ramifications – but it is to the credit of both the fandom and the show that everyone supported Lindsey in her decision to take care of her own mental health. Too often, we all ‘push through’ and ignore what our brains and bodies are telling us we need, sometimes with disastrous consequences. I will miss Micki, but Lindsey set a great example in being candid about what she was going through and making the tough decisions she needed to.
I know Jared understands that need – in his autobiographical chapter in the book Family Don’t End With Blood, he wrote openly and eloquently about his own mental health and how difficult it had been for him to ever make that a priority as a lead on a television show. There’s a lot of talk about how we all should do that, but Jared put his money where his mouth is and got behind Lindsey and her decision, both as a lead actor and as an executive producer. That’s a real departure from ‘the way things are done’ in television and film, and I feel kind of proud of both Jared and Lindsey for doing the right thing.
That said, I am really going to miss Micki Ramirez!
The episode itself was non-stop, sometimes moving so quickly I felt a little dizzy.
Micki Undercover
Micki’s story line was the action-packed one, with her undercover assignment three months in and the demands of living that role 24/7 starting to take a toll on all her relationships, just like it did when Cordell became a little too much Duke and less Cordi.
She’s cut herself off from Walker and from Trey (and presumably from her moms after just reconnecting/reestablishing those relationships). It’s easy to see how that seems like the right thing to do, to keep everyone safe, but it takes a toll anyway. Lies and deception and isolation are built into being under cover – which is something I honestly never gave a moment’s thought until watching Walker.
I really felt for Trey, knowing that Micki is in danger but cut off from her and unable to verify if she’s okay. I don’t blame him for tracking her down at trivia night at some bar, just in time to see her partner-in-crime (literally), the hapless Spider, get tossed off a building onto the roof of a car and murdered. Micki grabs Trey and tells him that she loves him, tearfully saying that she “sure hopes that girl of yours comes home”. But then she sends him on his way.
Everyone, in fact, is worried about both Micki and Trey. The episode begins with a nice bonding scene, Walker and Trey and Liam all out for a run. They make a pretty picture for the fandom too, which I’m sure was not lost on anyone (though they looked a lot more like Jared, Jeff and Keegan to be honest).
